Reporting to Mr Wines/Tables

Happy Relationship

Story for Mr Wines	Second paragraph
1000 - The Custodial Chef and the Roaming Replete	"A happy union! Calamity! They shall find joy in each other, perspectives well beyond the quotidian and an exchange of culinary and cultural ideas that will enrich the other. Awful! Dreadful! Woe!"
2000 - The Custodial Chef and the Dashing Drownie	"A happy union! Calamity! They shall zail the zees together when time and tide allow; one last voyage for the Custodial Chef! A new lease of life for the Drownie!"
3000 - The Custodial Chef and the Hooded Lady	"A happy union! Calamity! There shall always be a fire burning on Mutton Island for our mutual friend. She shall come home at last, whensoever she chooses, and it shall be a home, a place for her on the island as before. Dreadful. Awful!"
4000 - The Melancholy Curate and the Roaming Replete	"[…] A fruitful and productive exchange of ideas and values. Perhaps they will walk beneath Hell's walls together[…] Perhaps he will even walk with her in the lands of the Replete, where abundance and plenty reign over all. A terrible fate!"
5000 - The Melancholy Curate and the Dashing Drownie	"A happy union! Calamity! They shall be inseparable. The Curate shall long for the waves and find his longing returned. They shall say a priest zails with the phantom captain, that the zee has a holy terror in its depths. Catastrophic! Saccharine!"
6000 - The Melancholy Curate and the Hooded Lady	"A happy union! Our dear friend will never find religion but she will find consolation with the Curate. And in her, he will find a meaning to his vocation that has thus far eluded him! Calamitous!"
7000 - Jervaise and the Roaming Replete	"[…] Dreadful. Jervaise shall find a second soulmate, one he can bear his soul too in letters, and she a kindred spirit far from her homeland. They shall have fruitful discourse and visit each other, as time and my service allows. Dreadful. Loathsome!"
8000 - Jervaise and the Dashing Drownie	"[…] Awful! Jervaise shall soothe the spirit of the Drownie, who will come to reside in Wolfstack waters to be near his friend. They shall have supper on the wharfs and drink at the quay behind the Blind Helmsman. Revolting! Not to be borne!"
9000 - Jervaise and the Hooded Lady	"A happy union! Their joy in each other shall only multiply tenfold. Their marriage, renewed, reforged! An understanding after so many years achieved […] Such bliss as is permitted in this waking life, discovered! Oh, this is calamitous to our affairs!"

Mediocre Good Relationship

Story for Mr Wines (Good)	Second paragraph
100 - The Custodial Chef and the Roaming Replete	"It will not be a long-lasting union, but perhaps a fruitful one. We suspect we may one day hear of the cuisine of Mutton Island being sampled in the Presbyter's halls!"
200 - The Custodial Chef and the Dashing Drownie	"It will not be a permanent alliance, but who are we to deny a romance in the twilight of the Chef's days? We suspect his cooking will suffer, but perhaps we shall see a wider variety of provender at his table. Salt and brine, salt and brine!"
300 - The Custodial Chef and the Hooded Lady	"It will not be a permanent alliance, but who are we to deny that good lady some of the comforts of home! Perhaps she will find some measure of peace on the low hills of that island, now."
400 - The Melancholy Curate and the Roaming Replete	"He will travel with her[…] before some quarrel undoes them. […]it would be good for the Curate to see something of the world, beyond his queer notions of the angelic and the infernal. And she? Well, it shall all be material for her book when she returns."
500 - The Melancholy Curate and the Dashing Drownie	"The Curate will never go below the waves. Fear shall hold him back. But he shall be enamored, tempted even. He is no stranger to that. The Drownie will tire of him in the end, of course. But it shall be tempestuous at least for a time."
600 - The Melancholy Curate and the Hooded Lady	"Our dear lady will never find religion, but she will enjoy an argument. The little church at St Dunstan's shall find itself a hotbed of controversy! And all the better for it, until she returns to her duties. Of which we must remind her."
700 - Jervaise and the Roaming Replete	"They shall part as friends. He will not return home with her; too many ties here. But they shall strike up a correspondence that will, no doubt, have diplomats and spies in tears on both sides of the zee."
800 - Jervaise and the Dashing Drownie	"They shall part as friends. From the Chef, Jervaise will learn much of his wife that he had never known. Understanding shall deepen. Perhaps they'll even visit together, in time."
900 - Jervaise and the Hooded Lady	"A happy interlude. A marriage renewed. Time and the travails of life in our poor London shall corrode it, as it always does. But theirs is a long union; it has weathered such cycles before."

Mediocre Bad Relationship

Story for Mr Wines (Bad)	Second paragraph
10 - The Custodial Chef and the Roaming Replete	"It was not a fruitful union, but one suspects both will have learned some new culinary techniques when they return to their ordinary lives."
20 - The Custodial Chef and the Dashing Drownie	"I imagine the Custodial Chef will have been inspired to create new recipes using fish, at least."
30 - The Custodial Chef and the Hooded Lady	"I imagine we shall be seeing new varieties of Rubbery Lumps soon. Perhaps even a competition..."
40 - The Melancholy Curate and the Roaming Replete	"The meeting will no doubt have dulled the Curate's wanderlust. His soul, one imagines, will have been devalued still further wherever it resides currently."
50 - The Melancholy Curate and the Dashing Drownie	"One imagines we will not be hearing many hymns at zee. But perhaps for the best. We have precious few churchmen in London as it is."
60 - The Melancholy Curate and the Hooded Lady	"One imagines this union has not made our dear friend a churchgoer. But perhaps the Curate will have learned a useful lesson as to the limitations of his charisma, such as it is."
70 - Jervaise and the Roaming Replete	"A chance for a fruitful alliance likely squandered. We shall be having words with our dear Jervaise."
80 - Jervaise and the Dashing Drownie	"We must confess some happiness that Jervaise will not be lured to some no doubt soggy end. But we will keep a watch on the docks all the same."
90 - Jervaise and the Hooded Lady	"There will be discord. No doubt we will be expected to play intermediary. Again." It sounds extremely resigned.

Terrible Relationship

Story for Mr Wines	Second paragraph
1 - The Custodial Chef and the Roaming Replete	"They will not speak again, I think. Until one day, she will send him a message from her home. It will be an invitation to a feast. He should not go, if he is wise. Though I suspect that he is not."
2 - The Custodial Chef and the Dashing Drownie	"They shall not see each other again. I suspect the Chef will develop a healthy aversion to fish in future."
3 - The Custodial Chef and the Hooded Lady	"They shall not see each other again. I would advise the Chef to steer clear of the Carnival. Our mutual friend does like to hold a grudge."
4 - The Melancholy Curate and the Roaming Replete	"When the Roaming Replete returns home, I suspect we will hear of the Word of the Lord being preached in her country. It will be best not to pay too much attention to what exactly is being preached."
5 - The Melancholy Curate and the Dashing Drownie	"They shall not see each other again. Though the Curate ought to keep from the docks, if he values his life, if not his soul. He will hear the music of the deep, always."
6 - The Melancholy Curate and the Hooded Lady	"They shall not see each other again. I would advise the Curate to steer clear of the Carnival. Our mutual friend does like to hold a grudge. Fortunately for him, the Curate has no sense of whimsy."
7 - Jervaise and the Roaming Replete	"They shall not see each other again. Jervaise will stay closer to home; she will swear off wine, and in time, London. Disappointment is a useful teacher, we've found."
8 - Jervaise and the Dashing Drownie	"They shall not see each other again. Jervaise will stay closer to home; the Drownie will come only occasionally to shore. Whatever they sought, they did not find, but shall no longer seek."
9 - Jervaise and the Hooded Lady	"Perhaps it is the beginning of the end. But we suspect not. We have uses yet for both in our service."