'LORD ____ SEEN IN SHRUBBERY WITH THE _____ OF _______!'

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From: This Morning's Gazette


The real reason anyone buys the Gazette: to delight in the misfortune of their betters.


Success

'YOUR FRIEND AT THE SALON WRITES...'

[see table below]
The Airs of LondonDescription
1 - 24'The Bishop of _______ seen stumbling out of the vestry of St Duncan's, red-faced and wrothful. A mix-up of the communion wine with sherry seems to have been the source of His Grace's ire!'
25 - 49'Lady _____ unsuccessfully snubbed her hated cousin the Lord ______ at the Debutante's Ball. Despite her cutting him at the steps, it became impossible to ignore him after their mischievous host seated them next to each other […] Red faces all around!'
50 - 74'The Ambassador to Arbor was appalled to find themselves seated next to the Emissary of Vesture […] For once infernal politics took a backseat to the War of Silk and Roses. Next year we can only hope our infernal friends find […] a Huzzite Legionnaire […]!'
75 - 99'Mortification at the Clay Tailor's Salon when both Sinning Jenny and Mrs Plenty arrived in the same shade of verdigris. The embarrassment was navigated […] by both moving their tables […] It is understood the Clay Tailor is considering their memberships […]'
100'Infamy at Blythenhale when a statue erected to commemorate the Mayor of London failed to specify which[…] All five former occupants of that title […] find themselves having to applaud a newly-cast bust of Dick Whittington. We understand heads shall roll!'