So you have something decent to read of a morning
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None of the current crop live up to your standards. Your morning ritual demands a newspaper of quality, even if you have to write it yourself.
The only thing worth reading
You wouldn't be surprised, in a month or two, to hear that Mr Huffam was taking your newspaper with his toast and marmalade.
- You are a Bastion of the Free Press! (Sets An Editor of Newspapers - to 13 - Pleasing Yourself)