Persuade the Efficient Commissioner/Tables

Success Text

Question before the Board	Success Description
1, 2, 4	"Within the bounds of our charter, and our mandate to build toward the west, this specific route appears no worse than the alternatives." There is no question she cannot hedge.
3	"Some abnormalities are recorded in the Pitiless Bog," she says. "We ought to avoid it if possible. However, I accept that we may have no choice in this case."
5	"Very well! Very well! You're fools!" She's lost herself; she's practically raving now. But she has mentioned that she hasn't been getting much sleep lately. Perhaps it's the nightmares bothering her.
7	"It is not the bridge I object to," she states precisely. And she makes sure that the Board Secretary has captured her wording.
31	"He is more loyal to the Shuttered Palace than to the Bazaar," she says. "There's no telling that he'd take our side, if a choice had to be made."
33	"This... this won't require the board member to attend in person?" she says. And she's only willing to vote for when you say that no, any responses from the new Director can be conveyed by other means.
100, 105, 115 - 150	The Commissioner asks about zoning regulations and planning permission. […] She cross-compares the diagrams with the guidance documents submitted by the Ministry of Upper River Development. This time, she is convinced – barely.
210	"A very practical business recommendation," she says. "We've often observed that Londoners are willing to pay significantly elevated prices for luxury service."
220, 230	"Hm," says the Efficient Commissioner. "It is not what I would typically recommend, but it may reduce the risk of a more violent and surprising outcome in the future."
240	"One might as well establish the chain of command clearly and early," says the Efficient Commissioner. "Anything else will lead to confusion and later disappointment."
250	"I have reviewed the available cartography for the area […] I was certain I'd seen a portion of it marked out for caution, but I haven't been able to rediscover the reference." […] It plainly irks her to remember something that is no longer there.
280	[…]cautionary notes, pertaining to places that Are Not[…]Might Be[…]Will Be In the Future ([…]Irem), and[…]Are, But Have Forgotten[…]she can discover nothing that absolutely prohibits what you mean to do. But she really very much wanted to find an impediment.
300	"This Charter is in line with the objectives of the Bazaar," says the Efficient Commissioner. "Though I reserve the right to veto particular applications."
310	"I will concede that a strong point has been made," says the Commissioner. "We can vote for this plan, but let the minutes show that I objected to any introduction of charitable motives."
320 - 340	"I will concede that a strong point has been made," says the Commissioner. "We can vote for this plan, but my concerns are recorded for the future."
400	"It is highly admirable for us to make regular payments and meet our commitments," says the Commissioner. "If we are in a position to do so, by all means."
500	"I reserve very significant doubts about this course of action […] As a matter of fact, I'm inclined to expect that it will end my career. When the Neath is flooded with snakes and all of you are possessed by Fingerkings, do not come to me […]"
510	"Not through Parabola," says the Commissioner. "This is a far more acceptable solution than the alternatives."
520 - 523, 525 - 529	"It's too late," the Commissioner says, strained. "I can't stop you […] it was always going to happen. […] The Creditor hungers, it thirsts, and the city is also mad..." "Er, shall I record that as an aye?" asks the Board Secretary. […]
600	"The Tentacled Entrepreneur is unlikely to cause significant disruptions," says the Efficient Commissioner. […] "It is no part of the Commission's work to endorse political candidates, but I will not offer a veto […]"
620	"F. F. Gebrandt has a demonstrated disrespect for the Masters. However, it is no part of the Commission's work to endorse political candidates […] I will refrain from the veto […]. I question your judgement, but it is your affair."
700	"A solid choice," says the Commissioner. "Friendly to the Bazaar and bound to be reliable. And he doesn't look the type to dig any unnecessary holes or pry into what doesn't concern him."
710	"Perhaps," says the Commissioner grudgingly. "It does not sound as though his sphere of interest necessarily extends to the Bazaar or to London."
720	"She should be harmless to our most important interests," says the Commissioner. "I will not vote against."
800	"He should be harmless to our most important interests," says the Commissioner. "I will not vote against."
850	"Oh, well, if he's near a final death," says the Commissioner, as though that were a commendation. "Less likely to get into any very serious trouble."
905	"An eccentric choice," the Commissioner says carefully. "But not a terrible thing if the Dean acquires experience elsewhere. The Board may well benefit from the fruits of her wisdom." She gives the Dean a cautious smile, which is not returned.
910	"Oh good, yes. Put the Bishop in a position of authority over the Burrow Church. This is a surprisingly sensible decision."
931, 933, 934	"I suppose a pragmatic solution to our current impediment is called for." The Efficient Commissioner is scribbling something in the corner of a notebook, distracted.
932	"I am continuously alarmed at this Board's determination to court Tragedy with its actions. Nevertheless, I feel we have been funnelled into this course of action."
940 - 941	"If it improves the image of the Railway and thus leads to better ticket sales, I suppose the expense could be justified," the Commissioner notes.
1000 - 1030	"I cannot believe I am consenting to this," groans the Commissioner. She is slumped forward in her chair. "You are all fools. We will die in fire. Perhaps it was always so destined."
1100, 1110	The Commissioner giggles. "Oh why not. To Hell with it." She coughs nervously. "No offence. But if we built a route through Parabola we may as well go the whole hog. No unbuttering the bacon after it's fried, as they say in Nidah."

Condition	Second paragraph of Success Description
Jovial Contrarian's Vote	The […] Contrarian remarks that he was counting on the Efficient Commissioner to be against, as she was against most things. "If she's for, then perhaps I should have been against after all." There is widespread groaning, […] he subsides this time.

Failure Text

Question before the Board	Failure Description
1 - 2, 9	"The Terrain is not the primary concern," says the Efficient Commissioner. "But the direction takes us towards local populations that we might do better to leave alone."
3	"We ought to avoid the Pitiless Bog if possible […] There are recorded cases […] of entire parties of soldiers disappearing […] it is not clear whether this occurred during the First City or the Second…" "Fairy tales," grumbles someone else. […]
4	"The Terrain is not the primary concern," says the Efficient Commissioner. "But the direction takes us towards local populations that we might do better to leave alone."
5	"I remain gravely concerned about this route," she says. But when you ask her to suggest a better one, she draws a line in entirely the wrong direction, one that wouldn't advance your cause at all.
7	"We really ought to consider whether this part of the enterprise is wise at all," she protests.
10, 18 - 19, 21 - 22, 24, 27, 29 - 33, 35, 37	"Each time the composition of the Board is changed, I am required to file new papers with the Bazaar," says the Commissioner. Her tone suggests that you are making her do this out of spite.
12	"The Contrarian wastes a great deal of Board time," she agrees. "Nonetheless, I estimate that removing him would require more time loss in filing paperwork. He should stay, for the moment."
13	For once, the Efficient Commissioner does not want Jenny to go, and does not want to explain why. At a guess, her reasons are personal.
14	"He was, I have to assume, introduced to the board with a specific purpose in mind," says the Efficient Commissioner. "Even if I am at a loss to see what that might be." Then she demonstrates for you the stack of forms that she would have to fill out […]
15	[…] the Commissioner chooses to read you just a few sentences from the red book she keeps at her side. "'In the Event of a Contretemps with an Infernal Power,'" she intones. "There are sixteen chapters devoted to variations of this Tragedy. […]"
16	"You brought her on […] I filed all the paperwork to assign a directorship, together with secondary paperwork reporting her likely counter-Bazaar leanings. I had a portrait commissioned […] And now you wish to remove Furnace again."
17	The Efficient Commissioner sighs deeply. "Is she truly an obstruction? Occasionally she insists on telling an anecdote about her tentacled goddess. It is misguided but innocuous. Removing her is not worth the bother of the paperwork."
20	[…] "The paperwork […] requires me to affix their signature […] I may use the print of their hand or, in extreme circumstances, a drop of their blood. Shall we place a small side wager about what fluids the […] Entrepreneur is even able to supply?"
23, 28	"His Guild might take offence," says the Efficient Commissioner. "And they have stewardship of the Sleeper in the Tomb, and cannot be antagonised."
26	"Antagonising a Mayor while they are in power would be unnecessary, […] No, no, I'm not saying it would be a Tragedy. […] But if you did not want her on the Board, it would have been better not to ask her in the first place. […]"
100, 105, 115 - 150	[…] She inspects the elevations from all sides […] She cross-compares the diagrams […] At the end […] she informs you […] that this plan will never be acceptable, and that you might have known as much had you paid more attention to the forms.
200	"I wish to reiterate that we are not authorised to go to war with the population of the western Neath," says the Efficient Commissioner. Evidently the manifests of weaponry have begun to unnerve her.
205	"I hope I am not alone in observing that this appears to support illegal activity," says the Efficient Commissioner. She does not intend to help you furnish your trains for this sort of endeavour.
210	"These do not strike me as necessary modifications," says the Efficient Commissioner. She has specific notions of what necessity looks like.
220	"I do not like us to commit ourselves to a payment per worker, without having a strict inventory by name […] You would be astonished by the trouble arising when one allows careless multiplications to enter into one's contractual arrangements."
230	"I suppose they could be owners," she says dubiously. "I know of nothing in law that would prevent it. But it is not what the Masters would like."
240 - 260	"We have some obligations to the Union," she says. "We must be certain not to break our given word."
270	"Ordinarily, one would file a complaint in the proper quarters," […] "They would then have a period of five years to offer initial redress." Since everyone is looking at her, she adds, "Matters of this gravity are dangerous to rush."
280	"The excision of a city block may not rise to the level of a Tragedy," says the […] Commissioner. "Nonetheless, I doubt it is properly addressed by lay practitioners of..." She trails off before the words 'Red Science'. "...whatever this might be."
300	"There is no objection from the perspective of the Bazaar," admits the Efficient Commissioner. "But the statement falls short in both substance and form." She then quotes a passage from the Tragedy Procedures of the Bazaar as inspiration.
310	"Charity is a corruption," says the Efficient Commissioner. "The Bazaar does not approve of giving what hasn't been bought."
320	"Fully half of our past Incidents have involved excessive curiosity or a conflict between multiple purposes," says the Efficient Commissioner. She rests her hand on […] the Tragedy Procedures as though she expects this input to end the conversation.
330	"We should not be embracing Hell," says the Efficient Commissioner. "We should not be offending them either. I recommend a studied middle position."
340	The Efficient Commissioner looks pained. "An affiliation with the Church is bound to bring us into needless conflict with the Infernal powers," she says. "And I refuse, absolutely refuse, to open our board meetings with a hymn."
400, 931, 933, 934	The Efficient Commissioner makes a short speech in favour of financial conservatism and care for the longevity of the Great Hellbound Railway.
500	"Absolutely under no circumstance will we take the train into Parabola," she says savagely. "It is both dangerous and forbidden, and risks waking the Sleeper."
510	"We have no previous disasters on record," says the Efficient Commissioner. "But I am inclined to think that only means no previous neighbour of the Infernal Realms was fool enough to request one. Let alone several."
520 - 523, 525 - 529	"No, and no, and no and no, and a thousand times no, from here to the end of the earth," she says.
620	"F. F. Gebrandt!" says the […] Commissioner. "She has been consistently uncooperative with the Masters. What's worse, she is promising London a series of wild and experimental undertakings, far more dangerous than anything the Viscountess intends."
700	"Better him than someone else," she concedes. "But it's a change we need not make. Why disrupt the delicate balance?"
710	"He sounds incendiary," sniffs the Commissioner. "Do we want to invite further complications?"
720, 800, 850	"I would rather see someone a little more predictable," says the Commissioner.
905	"I don't think we should be encouraging unorthodox views at the Burrow Church," says the Commissioner. The Dean makes a face.
910	"I don't think we should spirit the Bishop away from London more than is strictly necessary," the Commissioner says. "We must never forget where our true loyalties lies."
932	The Commissioner is unmoved. "We are absolutely not going to use company resources to rearrange the Chain willy-nilly in pursuit of this aesthetically confused utopian project."
940	"The Railway barely pays for itself as it is," the Commissioner claims. "Giving away space on the trains out of charity would be beyond the pale."
941	"Absolutely not," the Commissioner snaps. "The Railway barely pays for itself as it is and now you want to give away money?"
1000 - 1030	[…] "No, and no, and no, and a thousand times no, and this is exactly the thing that I was put here to prevent. […] My death would not be enough to silence me […] […] The Secretary offers her a glass of water half-way through, as she starts to get hoarse.
1100, 1110	The Commissoner gives you a stony look. "Is this the face of someone who approves of sending several screaming tonnes of metal hurtling through a mirror and into the lands of dream, loaded with powder, pistols and bombard sufficient to sink a port?[…]"