A Church in the Wild (Guide)

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Having built the station at Burrow-Infra-Mump, you see the ruins of a church. You have no reason to refurbish the place and found a new church in its stead, perhaps. But it's not as if a person of such eminence as your good self would need something so mundane as a reason.

Many thanks to tackpine on Reddit for their lovely guide!

If you would like to automatically calculate the outcome of your decisions and determine the church type you will end up with, you may find a calculator here, created by Alcyius on Reddit.

Must it be a church, though?[edit]

If you'd rather maintain a wholly secular monument at Burrow-Infra-Mump, or if perhaps you don't particularly care what is built so long as your good name is associated, you may instead Raise a freehold. This is much faster and less expensive overall, even though it requires a rare Waswood Almanac from the Parabolan War.

The freehold offers the same options for studying theology and acquiring uncommon resources, namely Vienna Openings and Human Arms. It also unlocks any content that requires an outpost in Burrow, such as Let the Devil Hath His Due.

There are a few disadvantages to raising a freehold:

  • The Delightful Reverend and The Drummer cannot be invited to the Railway Board.
  • Burrow cannot be the initial site of the Tracklayer's City. If you wish to place the City there regardless, you'll need to spend resources moving it.
  • You cannot invent a saint or construct a statue in its honour. See Statues at the GHR Stations for further details.

Possible Churches and their impacts[edit]

The outcomes of the Church in the Wild story line will enable different grinds in Burrow-Infra-Mump (all for one action per item, subject to various attribute checks):

From a power-gaming perspective, the Anglican variant will lower the costs of Wing of a Young Terror Bird from around 1.09 actions (via Duplicate the wings of a Young Terror Bird) to 1 action. The Wild variant will lower the costs of Glass Gazettes from 1.76 actions (via How much research and how much dream?) to one action. Hell gives you the best source for Human Arms, twice as efficient as Acquire human remains from the criminals (and without being limited by favours).

(It should also be noted that none of these three items are essential: Glass Gazettes are horribly inefficient in Lost in Strange Lands even if grinded for one action, Human Arms are amongst the least interesting ways to assemble a skeleton. This leaves Wing of a Young Terror Bird, which seems marginally useful, where the Church-based grind is only minutely more efficient.)

Queer Souls, Sworn Statements and Crate of Incorruptible Biscuits are more easily obtained using the actions Rob the Museum of Souls, Ambush an Aging Detective and Burgle a Public House when you are also interested in Echo grinding. Tin of Zzoup is more efficiently bought than grinded for and if you need Vienna Openings for some reason, the best way to get them is to Ambush a courier and then Recognise an opening.

Arguably, the most important decision is not the overall outcome but the dedication of your church.

If and only if you dedicate your church to a Custom-Made Saint, this will allow you to build a statue dedicated to said saint. The statue card will then lower the cost of Flourishing Ribcages from 11 actions (via Create a Flourishing Ribcage) to only three actions (which all require Under the Statue at Burrow-Infra-Mump) while also yielding E 4.5 in items and giving a Prismatic Frame on a rare success.

On the other hand, if you dedicate your church to the Drummer, you will be able to Invite the Drummer to your Railway Board for the cost of only 3 x Verse of Counter-Creed} (approximately E 37.5) instead of a False Hagiotoponym (E 62.50). The Drummer has absolutely no objections to voting for dividends, kicking the Tentacled Entrepreneur off the Board, nor using the train in Parabolan Warfare.

Last things first[edit]

The crucial part of founding your church is how your Church: Evangelism and Church: Isolationism; Church: Ostentation and Church: Humility; and Church: Orthodoxy and Church: Iconoclasm stack up during the Bishop's Inspection at the end. During the inspection, a series of comparisons are made for each pair. The file below can be read by starting from the top and following the lines. Decision tree outlining how the church qualities determine the outcome of the Bishop's inspection.

Church decision visualisation.png

At the end of the inspection, depending on Ostentation and Humility, you have the opportunity to change your final result if you have selected a patron. You can swap as often as you like, but cannot proceed further until you have committed.

  • Ostentation > Humility
    • The Diocesan Church of Hell can be switched with the Counter-Church in the Wild and vice versa.
    • The Church in the Wild can be switched with the Anglican Church and vice versa.
  • Humility > Ostentation
    • The Church in the Wild can be switched with the Counter-Church in the Wild and vice versa.

In other words, this allows one to flip the result of the Orthodoxy/Iconoclasm check. For details on all options, see Summon your Patron.

If you decide to change your mind after that, you have to completely reset the church progress in Refound the Burrow Church (50 FATE).

Selecting a Deacon, Catechist, and Lay Minister[edit]


Deacon Requirement Effect
The Clandestine Curate 3 x Evangelism
September A Friend of September 5 3 x Iconoclasm
The Intrepid Deacon (FATE) Intrepid Deacon 3 x Ostentation


Catechist Requirement Effect
The Gilded Minister 3 x Iconoclasm
The Querulous Theologian Membership of God's Editors 3 x Orthodoxy
The Crimson Captain (FATE) Crimson Captain 3 x Isolationism

Lay Ministers[edit]

Deacon Requirement Effect
The Optimistic Vice-Admiral 3 x Evangelism
Sister Lydia Sister Lydia 3 x Humility
Madame Shoshana Renown: Bohemians 25 3 x Ostentation

Dedication, Style, and Liturgy[edit]

Dedicating the Church[edit]

Dedicant Requirements Effects
Saint Cecilia
A Custom-made Saint
The Drummer

The Interior of the Church[edit]

Style Requirements Effects
Plain and unadorned

The Liturgy of the Church[edit]

Doctrine Requirements Effects

Parish Clerk, Church Mouse, Patron[edit]

It is not necessary for you to expand the Parish Council. However, why would you not?

Parish Clerks[edit]

Clerk Requirement Effects
A Pious Henchman Pious Henchman
An Enfranchised Anchoress An Enfranchised Anchoress
The Submerged Rector A Submerged Rector

Church "Mice"[edit]

"Mouse" Requirement Effect
Mrs Frumple
Appoint a Bedraggled, Forlorn Fox A Bedraggled, Forlorn Fox (FATE)
A Dream-dwelling Carnivorous Aurochs Dream-dwelling Carnivorous Aurochs


Patron Requirement Effects
The Dean of Xenotheology Board Member: The Dean of Xenotheology
The Bishop of St Fiacre's Board Member: The Bishop of Saint Fiacre's
The Bishop of Southwark
  • No.

Graveyard, Collection, and Pilgrims[edit]

What to do with the bodies?[edit]

Decision Requirements Effects
Dig up the graves
Leave the graves be
Reconsecrate the graves

What should the church spend its money on?[edit]

Cause Requirements Effects
The betterment of the poor
Unpopular causes
The Church

The Arrival of the Pilgrim-Devils[edit]

Decision Requirements Effects
Permit the pilgrims entry
Encourage the pilgrims to patronise the church instead
Send the pilgrims away

The Drummer, the Mission, and the Unbishop[edit]

The Devil's Due[edit]

Decision Requirements Effects
Bury the Drummer-in-the-Depths
Play wildly
Play softly
Ask the Drummer to forgo his request
Summon the Submerged Rector

A Mission to the Hinterlands[edit]

Where Requirements Effects
Ealing Gardens
Jericho Locks
The Magistracy of the Evenlode
Station VIII
Expand the Church here
Decline to expand Burrow

Raising an Unbishop[edit]

Who Requirements Effects
The Clandestine Curate
The Intrepid Deacon FATE
The Gilded Minister
The Querulous Theologian
The Crimson Captain FATE
The Optimistic Vice-Admiral
Sister Lydia
Madame Shoshana
Refuse to elect an Unbishop